I'm Just a Girl: The Constant Cycle of Wanting to Relive my Childhood
Kiera Milne
08/05/24
(Kiera Milne, circa 2005. Image Credit: Great Grandparents Of Kiera Milne)
‘I Wish I Could Relive My Childhood’, is currently a trend on TikTok, with over 36.5 million posts, where creators post their childhood experiences and favourites. It’s quite comforting that I’m not alone in wanting to relive my childhood, as I scroll through TikTok I stumble across millions of other people wanting to relive their childhoods just for one more time.
Some individuals choose to forget their childhoods and leave the past behind, but for me? Childhood is something I wish I could experience once again.
I’m just a girl
Even though I’m still considered as a young adult, I still refer to myself as a child (not in bad way, it’s a comfort thing). As a student completing my master’s degree, I’m one step closer to entering the real world, which is absolutely terrifying. Honestly, I’d donate an organ if it meant I’d get to relive my childhood, but the harsh reality is, our childhoods are now simply just memories.
It's funny when you’re an innocent child, the only thing you want to do is grow up because you think being an adult is the coolest thing. Long story short, be careful what you wish for. At the time, you fail to realise those are the best years of your life that you simply can’t get back. When you’re a kid your brain does not seem to process the fact that, even though you are getting older, everyone else around you is also getting older. No-one sticks around forever, which terrifies me. However, it’s life- we can’t avoid it.
However, I suppose now as a ‘young adult’, or whatever you want to call a 22-year-old university student, you now appreciate the love and affection you received throughout your childhood. You can now finally understand and appreciate the sacrifices your parents made to provide you with the best upbringing and childhood. I just wish, when I was a child, I understood how much my parents sacrificed- but then again, I was just a young girl who wanted to become a butterfly when she grew up, nothing else mattered.
2000s nostalgia
Ah, the good old early 2000’s when life was simpler right? Back then, the only problem that caused any ounce of stress was choosing between watching the latest episode of Hannah Montana or going out to play with your friends. But now, you ask? Now our stress is associated with our careers, our finances, our relationships and friendships, that’s never ending. We, I mean we as in me, often find ourselves thinking back to the simpler times of our childhood. But guess what? Our fifties or sixties will soon creep up and we will all refer to our twenties as the simpler times… disgusting, I know. I possibly can’t begin to imagine myself being that old.
Nowadays, I often find myself scrolling endlessly through TikTok at stupid o’clock in the morning, tagging my best friend or my sisters in childhood nostalgia in videos showing images of doll houses and the crappy plastic £5 princess heel set from Asda, that if you fell wearing them your foot would simply shatter into a million pieces. I was quite surprised to stumble across my exact dainty China tea party sets on TikTok, the ones’ every girl had to host their iconic dolls and teddies. I was that kid, who was obsessed with build-a-bears (to be honest I’m still just as bad). One point as a kid, I had fourteen bears which I classified as my children. I was giving Britain’s biggest family a run for their money at 10 years old. Oh, and don’t forget about my iconic Bratz phase, I think every girl was either Barbie or Bratz, but you know I just had to have both.
(Kiera Milne, circa 2004/05. Image Credit: Parents of Kiera Milne)
Every time I stumble across those 2000s childhood nostalgia videos, I get so excited when I see videos of the classic pink Nintendo DS (may my Nintendogs rest in peace, I promise I was a good dog mum) and the Nintendo Wii. Wii Sports had a profound impact on my childhood, purely because I became a bowling expert which sadly can’t be mimicked in real life. May I add I’m pretty convinced Wii Fitness was to blame for body dysmorphia in our generation, since that game labelled a six-year-old as overweight and had the fitness levels of a seventy-year-old woman?! F*****…yeah I think so.
Growing up in the Scottish Countryside 2000s edition
Growing up in the 2000s was arguably the best time to grow up unless you are talking to someone born in 1960-1970… then you’ll be told different. However, we were the last generation to grow up without having access to a mobile phone at the ripe age of 10 weeks old. We were the generation who could sit down at a restaurant table and behave colouring in the menus, without screaming for an iPad.
It's quite amusing but slightly concerning noticing groups of ten-year olds, or younger, having mobile phones and dripped out in head to toe in designer outfits… may I add it’s not even a cheap run around phone, they’ve all got the latest iPhone (no I promise I’m not jealous that a 10-year-old has a better phone than me at 22-years old). I find it quite sad that these children are glued to their phones whilst out with their friends, instead of appreciating running about the streets until someone’s mother screams at them to come home or till the streetlamps turned on.
When I was their age, we’d spend endless days out on our bikes or scooters (preferably a bike, once you whacked your scooter off your ankles there is no going back, if you know you know). When I was younger, my friends and I would be out with our prams and dolls, taking them for a walk up and down the street. Now, you rarely see that. After school and the weekends, we would run around the streets doing rammies (ding-dong ditch for those who are not from the Northeast), annoying the pensioners on the street.
I was fortunate as a child, and now as a young adult, to grow up in the Scottish coastal countryside. Growing up in rural Scotland, we simply had the best of both worlds. You’d have the coast, where you’d spend the summer’s neck deep in the North Sea and cold walks in the winter. You would also have the countryside, where you’d head up the woods swinging on the rope swings, building tree huts. We would always go on family walks with the dog trying to skim stones across the water (much to my dad’s disappointment, you’d be lucky to even see me throw a stone 1ft away never mind skimming).
Growing up in the Countryside has its cons, despite the country/costal living the only real entertainment, was walking around Tesco (that is pretty small) and eating at the same four takeaways all owned by the same people. The town was and still is full of endless amounts of charity shops that are filled with the town oldies, one of which being my granny.
Out with the old, in with the new
Throughout my childhood, I often used to express my feelings about leaving the small fishing countryside town behind to move somewhere new and exciting. Particularly in my teenage years, I didn’t think I’d ever get to leave that life behind and see what other places had to offer. I guess that little girl inside me would be so proud of who I have become and turned out, but slightly devasted I’m not a butterfly. But, this butterfly did finally spread her wings, and got out the country bubble.
Now as I’m writing this all down, all I’ve got to say is, you never appreciate what you’ve got until you no longer have it. I mean, I’m beyond proud of myself for moving to a new city (a new way of life) hundreds of miles away from home to do my master’s degree but I’d do anything in this world to have a walk along the local beach, throwing sticks and stones with my childhood dog (she’s still going strong, 13 going on 5).
It's an odd but heart-warming feeling when visiting home from university because it really puts your life into perspective. These things I once took for granted: are things I so desperately want to experience once more. I suppose this butterfly wants to go back to the cocoon. Long story short, you can take the girl out of the countryside but can’t take the countryside out of the girl.
Reflecting on my childhood is something I’ve always been guilty doing, hoping that one day I would wake up, and I’d suddenly be five years old again. I always think that I’m still that innocent little girl who dreamed of being a butterfly but in reality I’m just a girl just trying to navigate a new chapter of life.
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My life never has really been put into perspective until now. As I watch my oldest sister become a mother, my younger sister learn to drive, and my dog reach her 13th birthday, it’s only now I realise I’m no longer that girl I once used to be. The reality is, I’m just a girl who’s entering the big scary world called life and my childhood is now simply just a cherished memory that I will forever be thankful for.